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Post by Bütch on Dec 9, 2014 16:53:27 GMT -6
Girls Night Out Two Wives go out for a girl's night out. Both got drunk, and started walking home and had to Pee along the way. They stopped at a Cemetery but had nothing to wipe with. One used her panties and the other grabbed a Wreath off a grave. The next morning one Husband called the other and said "No more Girl's night out! My wife came home with no Panties on." The other Husband said"you think that's Bad? mine came home with a card in her crack that read, "From all of us at the Fire Station....We'll never Forget you!" :| |
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Post by Bütch on Jan 14, 2015 20:32:05 GMT -6
Mammogram Case: a Day in Court While conducting some business at the Courthouse, I over heard a lady, who had been arrested for assaulting a Mammogram Technician, say "Your Honor, I'm guilty but..... There were extenuating circumstances." The female Judge said, sarcastically, "I'd certainly like to hear those extenuating circumstances." I did too, so I listened as the lady told her story. "Your Honor, I had a mammogram appointment, which I actually kept. I was met by this perky little clipboard carrier smiling from ear to ear and she tilted her head to one side and said, "Hi! I'm Bobbie Sue! All I need you to do is step into this room right here, get naked from the waist up, then put on this gown. Understand?" I'm thinking, "Bobbie Sue, lay off the Mountain Dews. This ain't rocket science." Bobbie Sue then skipped away to prepare the chamber of horrors. With the right side finished, Bobbie Sue tossed me (for real) to the left and said, "Hmmmm. Can you stand on your toes and lean in a smidgen so we can get everything?" OK, I answered. I was freezing, bruised, and gasping air, so why not use the remaining circulation in my legs and neck to finish me off? My body was in a holding pattern that defied gravity with my other Tit wedged between those two 4 inch pieces of square glass, when I heard and felt a zap! Complete darkness, the power was off! Bobbie Sue said, "Uh-oh, dog pee'ed on the power pole again, maintenance is working on it, bet they hit a snag." Then she headed for the door. "Excuse me! You're not leaving me in this vise grip alone are you?" I shouted as Bobbie Sue kept going and said, "Oh, you such a cry baby... The door's wide open so you'll have the emergency hall lights. I'll be right back." Before I could shout NO! She disappeared. And that's exactly how Bubba and Leroy, "maintenance men Extraordinaire," found me... standing on my tip-toes, half-naked with part of me dangling from the Jaws of Life and the other part crushed between glass! After exchanging a polite Howdy, how's it going type greeting, Bubba or might of been Leroy asked, to my utter shock, if I knew the power was off. Trying to disguise me being pi$$ed, I replied with as much calmness as possible, "Uh, yea, I did, but thanks anyway." "OK, you take care now" Bubba replied and waved good-bye as though I'd been standing in the line at the grocery store. Two hours later, Bobbie Sue finally got back wearing a sheepish grin. making no attempt to suppress her amusement, she said, "Oh I am so sorry! The power came back on and I totally forgot about you! And silly me, I went to lunch. Are we upset?" And that, Your Honor, is exactly how her head ended up between clamps...." The judge could hardly contain her laughter as she said "Case Dismissed!" |
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